Writing Ad Headphones From Christ

Description: In writing I'm with Troy for this term and we are focusing on writing to persuade. We had to write an ad for some headphones that we made up. Caitlin and I came up with these headphones together but we are doing different stories.

Hope you enjoy my ad for Headphones From Christ!

Do Dreams Really Die? Writing Portfolio Sample

Description: This term in writing we split up into different groups depending on what our writing goal was. Last term we decided what our writing goal was going to be. I chose 'Words' because I'm not that good with words. Since I'm 'REALLY' passionate about Japan I 'OF COURSE' Wrote a story about Japan, hope you enjoy my story! ^-^

Feedback: you did a great job on your writing and you did a lot of writing

Feedforward: I did not find any thing bad about your writing or your post!!!!

Evaluation: I think that I did a good job at writing what I think would probably would have happened if I was stuck in Japan with out a job, But I don't think I used many good 'non boring words' so I think I still need to work on words. ^-^

Spelling city

Description: 4 my writing we had 2 do a spelling test & now we have 2 practice some of our words & spelling city gave me 2 test.

at
but
for
got
had
is
me
of
on
she
so
that
then
there
they
up
when
went
you
was
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My result:

Big Idea: For writing we have 2 spell the words correctly so thats why we do spelling.

Evaluation: I think that I did well at timing and spelling but the words were to easy so next time I would find something that challenges me.

Writing (similes and metaphors)

Description: In my writing this week the goal is to use metaphors and similes and I chose to do a little description writing about my favourite anime /Vocaloid character Aoki Lapis.

this is my writing of Aoki Lapis.

2016 writing diagram Green 1

Description: In literacy the teachers have 2 writing groups each. 4 Troy there is Red 1 and Red 2, 4 Elly she has Blue 1 and Blue 2, Nic also has a Green 1 and a Green 2. I'm in Green 1. and in our workshop we did a diagram on what a Non-fiction has and what a Fiction story has and in the middle what they have in common.

This is my diagram:

Day in a life of cabin 18 toilet

Description: In writing we wrote about a camp themed story. My goal for this piece of writing is to entertain. There were many ways of writing we could do to entertain I chose to do a day in a life. since the cabin group I was in, stayed in the Willow lodge it was an ensuite I don't know what the Popla lodge was like where most of the girls were but I decided to do a day in a life of our cabins toilet.

this is my draft:

This is my story:

Feedback: I like that it is a nice long story

Feedforward: I think it could have had more detail

Evaluation: I think that when I have in my story in different fonts for different things It added that detail but I think that next time I should use less and longer paragraphs.

Show not tell dream

Description: This term for writing we had to split up into different groups. We got to choose if we were doing: limericks with Troy, descriptive writing with Rebecca and reports with Elly. I decided to go with the Descriptive writing because I really need to work on that.


Task: our writing task for this term was to make little story about an experiences in Poutama, but I wanted to be more creative in my writing and do a story based of something that has happened at school.
Here It is:

My sentences writing sample

Description: To show what we are doing for writing we needed to update the worlds knowledge of what we have been doing. So this post is about our writing in term 3.

Big Idea: In Writing in term 3 we have been writing we have been split into different groups of writing of either Sentences, Ideas or Words. I'm in Sentences and my goal is to complete the FANBOYS. FANBOYS stands for: For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet and So. To practice my goal in wriring we chose to write a story. So in writing we have be writing a narrative about this picture

Feedback: I think Bridget did well at making some thing humorous and being creative.
Feedforward: I think that Bridget needs to put more detail into her story.

Evaluation: I think I did well at making things humorous but I think the same that I need to but more detail. If I were to do this story again I would change one of the characters to a fish. 

Horrobile nightmare

Description: My Goal in writing is to use connectives and conjunctions at the start of a sentence. It came from was when our writing group was first starting. I had no ticks on the goal words. I'm going to achieve one of the goals by using it in this piece of writing.

this is my plans that I did for my story:

My charters plan:

My settings plan:

Writing plan (hamburger plan):



















" 'Y' chart plan:

Big Idea: We started to think of writing a narrative piece of writing based on this picture...

We started to think of writing a narrative story so here it is:

Feedback/Feedforward:I think you did well with your story but maybe next time you could work on making it a bit with some of the words are in it but you did well. By Katie:)
Feedforward:

Evaluation: I think I did good at putting the detail into the story but I think I could work on the characters feelings and the punctuation. 

My first time fishing

Purpose: To share memories about my childhood.

Description: This is a short story of my first time fishing.

Remember smelling the fresh air and smelling the fish in the sea.

Remember getting the fishing rods ready with the different shaped bate then taking the Heavy fishing rods.

Remember catching a small fish that even Gordon could carry it.

Remember Gordon catching some fish but as he cort them one by one they keeper on getting away.

Remember Gordon getting so angry at the fish that he gave up.

Remember eating the small yummy fish.

That was my first time fishing.

My Hiwi the Kiwi writing

WALT: write to inform

Success Criteria

• Create a clear image in the readers mind
• Have a clear message (big idea)
• Powerful words (precise, clear)
• Reread writing and check for impact

My thinking questions

I choose this piece to publish because...

I need to practise...

I am pleased about...

My Published Writing

WALT: edit and publish our writing

Success Criteria

• Use a font and colour that can be easily read
• Must make sense
• Correct spelling
• Correct punctuation
• Change at least 3 words to add impact for the reader

We have been learning how to publish our writing.

Hiwi the Kiwi writing

One day me and my family went fishing. When you go fishing you need the right fishing gear like: a life jacket, fresh ice if you are fishing in a lake or a river and saltwater ice if you are fishing in the sea. you also need a beacon, a flare, a smoke flare the smoke is usually a light orange colour a flare that shoots up into the sky that reaches a sater light in space and that sends a signal to a life guard and that life guard will send a plane to go and find you but you might see the plane but they won’t see you so that is when you use the smoke flare and they will see you and they will come to you because orange is a close colour to red and red is for danger, and that is why you need to put your life jacket on before you set off sagel otherwise you could be indanger! another thing you will need is a ruler but not a owderney ruler, a speacal fish ruler so you don’t get a big fish for it’s speshes case the fish might have babies and that an’t going to tast very nice, or you might get a baby that is a baby like come on it’s just a baby! That’s why you need a wet towel so if you do get a baby or a daddy or a mummy fish don’t put the fish back with your hands put the fish back with a wet towel cause if you do it with your hands then you will wipe the scales off and then they could get a diseys! So when  I went fishing with my family as soon as I flinged my fishing rod into the water a fish got court into my trap and when we got home we cooked my fish and when it was ready we ate it all up “mm, that was yummy” I said haply.

THE END

By Bridget

You are sharing the Hiwi the Kiwi message in your writing. You have added a lot of details and information to make sure the messages (water safety and sustainable fishing) are clear to the reader. Your language is precise, font easy to read and the colour, although not my favourite, is quite easy to read.
Remember, when publishing you need to make sure the punctuation and spelling are correct so your piece is 'ready to read'. Use spell check and a buddy to help you. 
Kerri

Writing

This is my cross cuntry writing
 

Writing - Swimming Sports

WALT: Write to inform

Task: Share my experiences at Russell Street School swimming sports as a recount.

Success Criteria

• Plan
• Introduction- Where, When, Who, Why
• n order
• Past tense (walked, ran, said)
• Adding details, think about what are the most powerful words